.

I always thought if I'm gentle enough or patient enough or convincing enough, I'd be able to help people see the sexist, patriarchal ways they've been conditioned into and leave them behind. And I wanted to surround myself with folks who could do the same thing for me because I've been raised in the same world with the same subconscious psyche. I was able to do it exactly once in my life, with somebody I really care about. They seemed to not only understand, but also maybe join the cause. That changed everything for me. I felt, I don't know, useful - like I had made a valuable contribution for once in my life, and I wanted to keep going. But, I guess not? The man I'm supposed to be marrying cannot seem to understand why this is so important to me, nor does he really want to. Having second thoughts is such a cliche, but, I don't know. I don't want to necessarily change the world, although that'd be swell; I just want to change mine. Do I have to accept the fact that my world is not a feminist? Can I?