Call Me When You Hear This Song

I've deliberated on this a lot. This isn't out of impulse. Unless of course, it is. I don't trust my gut anymore. I think I've overthought the entire idea to a point where nothing really makes sense anymore.

You've been on my mind. Too much has happened, and while I've had an incredible support system, everything feels hollow until I've discussed my life with the one individual I want to share it with, my person.

To give you the flipside, like I said, too much has happened. This might be arising out of a selfish need to feel heard. Nobody makes me feel as precious as you do. But, it's unfair to want to disrupt somebody else's peace because you're craving conversation, isn't it?

I almost dropped you a note last night, but it didn't sit right with me. But then, a friend asked me how long I intended to do nothing and questioned whether you might be feeling the same way. I have no way of finding that out now, do I? You taught me to believe in the Universe even when It doesn't give you a reason to. That's what I'm doing, I guess?

So, if you're ever here - think about it. Take your time, talk to your circle, whatever you need. If you feel ready, and if it feels right - truly right, not right in a let's-give-into-temptation way, call me? I trust your judgement, so whatever you say goes. Don't you dare do it for me though. Think big picture.

I don't know if this puts you in a tough spot, I hope it doesn't. I don't know if I'm a coward for not stepping up to make that decision for us, I think I am. I don't really know what to do though, you know? It feels like my cognition is being stretched in ten different directions, and I'd just like for something to let up.

Anyway, I'll take this down after a day. It has to be equal parts of chance and choice. Fun little experiment.