This might be getting a little out of hand. I don't really have the words, but I need to get this energy out of my system.
Ideally, now is the time to seek help. I don't know though, it's not really coming from within. I know what it feels like when it does. Instead, it's just a gnawing feeling - a burden that is necessarily chained to my psyche and must be carried around.
I didn't dream pretty. It was not disorientation I felt, but the loss of having something taken away from me that I didn't yet possess. It can't just be that though, can it? All of this? Am I really that weak?
These are strange days. Waiting to hear back from that opportunity you pray you didn't waste away. Waiting for people and sanity and acceptance. Waiting, for that sliver of time between your first breath and last, to find a moment of fulfillment.
It's probably a good thing, today - served as a wake up call. Starting tomorrow, or you know, soon, I'm going to be okay.
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