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So High Among The Stars Without A Worry

Updated: Dec 1, 2021

He died.

On a gorgeous spring day last year, one of the most beautiful people I have ever known left me, never looking back. Now, it took me a couple of months before I could even say his name, so you can imagine how I must have spent the past few months, surrounded by mutual friends who spoke about him in fond memory, as of course they should, little knowing that it broke me a little every time he was mentioned.

On the eve of New Year 2018, I dedicated a poem to a bunch of friends, you know, with a let's-close-this-year with-heartfelt-emotion kind of an attitude. All of them loved it, or were thankfully polite enough to say so, but I remember his feedback distinctly - "You're a God re, you should write more often you do a really good job". So it is only fair that I find him a place, of the utmost reverence, in this little blog he indirectly inspired me to start.

We met in Junior College, in JEE Coaching Classes, neither one of us having an idea of what exactly was it that we wanted to accomplish in life. I don't remember how did we end up being the friends that we were, but thank God for it. He was the gentlest soul, with a sassy tongue and a golden heart, and his devilishly handsome looks didn't hurt either. I do have a lot of complaints with him though, one of them being the number of haters I got just because of him (he was a tad too popular with the ladies for my liking), but I'd accept a thousand of them to get that special treatment from him just one more time.

Those endless conversations, too many to count, the plans we made in case we dropped out of college together, the who-likes-whom conspiracies and the music discussions; I' m not sure what I miss most. It's probably how he said my name, with puppy eyes and droopy shoulders, adorable enough for the harshest radical to put down their weapons. I remember the day of our farewell ceremony, at the end of which he gave me the biggest, warmest hug. We sat at our usual hangout after the day ended, and though I cannot recall what we spoke about, probably had conversations full of nothings and everythings, that image of us - sitting in a park bench, innocent and ignorant - is how I like to remember him best.

We eventually lost our everyday connection. College, nay, life happened; we grew up, and apart. It's not as sad as it sounds, we kept in touch, met regularly, but of course, it wasn't quite the same. Which is why we decided to implement what we called "The Alpha Test" - we'd make sure that we devoted time to us once every week. It worked very well too, until, a fortnight later I received the call that he got sick. Nothing gets you to text a friend more regularly than one of those calls, believe me. I tried everything, from being funny, to being desperate, to outright begging. But I guess it was too little, too late; he was too mad at me to come back.

He loved physics. Astronomy was his jam. I wonder if he's among the stars he once so passionately read about. Or if he's in the musical notes of his favorite artistes, that would explain the tingling down my spine when I tune into his playlist. Wherever he is, all I want to say to him is - wait for me, my Pretty Brown Eyes, I won't cancel on you this time.

Well, they say people come, they say people go This particular diamond was extra special And though you might be gone, and the world may not know, still I see you, celestial

~ Everglow, Coldplay

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