It's hilariously sorrowful how I seem to be living two distinct lives at any given moment. I can find myself happy, content even. In the same instant, a realization of devastating pain follows, reminding me of everything that is uncertain. Rangolis bring a smile, but thinking of everybody I won't be spending my Diwalis with prompts a tear. Good news at the workplace elicits gratitude, but the idea of an uncertain career path ahead evokes apprehension.
Centering on the positives can only provide partial insulation from the adverse, if at all. Any effective resolution of this duality would require a disciplined shift of lifestyle and perspective, perhaps one that I'm not yet prepared for.