Updated: Dec 1, 2021
I got my first pay cheque a few hours ago. It feels strange, writing this. Alien somehow. Like I'm only a spectator watching from afar and this life, my life, is happening to somebody else. I haven't fully processed it yet, but in the profusion of emotion that is currently running through my veins, gratitude and fear distinctly stand out.
Maybe this is something everybody feels, a rite of passage one has to go through to start the rest of their life. Or maybe, this is something nobody feels, and not everybody scrutinises each minute of their lives under a magnifying lens. Maybe, in a couple years, the salary credit alert will seem like just another mundane thing that happens in everyday life.
Which is precisely why I want to capture this moment. So that when my days become stale and I don't feel my feelings as much, I can come back here and remember the person I once was. That, there is something wildly magical and freeing within the your innermost spirit. The part of your soul that is constantly terrified, but also, the one which finds meaning in every step of the way. The part which is curious, and excited, and sentimental about the darnedest things. The part which cares about nothing, and everything, all at once. The part that you lose a little bit with every new day that ages you, but the part that is the only one worth preserving for all of eternity.