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Just Saying Hey

It's not that I haven't been sad before, because I have. But this feels different. Quieter. Lonelier.

I have always had a tendency to withdraw from people in prolonged periods of unhappiness. When I was a kid, I did it in a much more inconsiderate way - a mistake I repent to this day. Now, I try to be a little more sensitive. Available. Not quite present, no, but available. I try to ensure my misery has no company. It's difficult when they ask me tough questions. I don't like talking about it, you know? I don't lie anymore though, I'm proud of that.

These past few days have been eventful. I would've liked to talk to somebody about it. I know I can, I'm blessed that way. But I just...can't? Besides my shrink, I mean. That was a good session today. Relieving.

I like coming here. More than I used to. I think I have changed how I approach it now. It's not about intellect anymore. Well, not just. I don't write to impress. I'd like to believe I never did, but everything I know about human psychology would prove me wrong. It's rawer. It's all about me. While I don't relish the thought of having my deepest vulnerabilities exposed on a public domain, it doesn't bother me either. I' Freer, at the very least.

I guess I'll get back to my show now. I haven't been able to sleep for some time now. Yeah, that's back. It's been an interesting week.

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