A year has passed and you're still not around. I don't blame you entirely, what with a pandemic striking the world. But I've decided to do my part. That is, leave you these letters in the hope that someday you'll find your way home. This way, when you finally do, we'll have a head start. Trust me, we'll need it. Maybe it could become a ritual? We can chalk out the details later. Of course, these would've been in longhand ideally. Oh, how I long to write an authentic billet-doux! But they tell me it's a digital revolution, so we'll save my sloppily scrawled scribbles for when the power goes out some year.
I've had a lot of time to daydream about our life together. About how you'd take me by the hand and we'd dance to Red Dress, just because. How you'd surprise me with these big, traditional earrings when flowers just won't do. How you'd set up twinkly lights in the room for me when we watch Tangled as makeshift lanterns. My reveries have us texting in song, and painting our photo-wall together, and trading treasures - your prized jersey for my precious Coldplay tee. They have you pinning excerpts and dog videos that I'd love. They have you fighting with me to fight for me, come hell or high water.
To tell you the truth, I'm fairly certain that you aren't this person. I mean, nobody will sit through weeks of classic literature just to understand what I'm raving about, I get that. All that matters is that someday you could be a (humanly flawed) version of the man I dream you to be. But don't worry, I'll never need you to cross off a checklist to know how you feel about me. Your eyes, when they're looking into mine, will tell me everything I need to know.
You know, it's okay if you want to take your time. I don't need you to actually be in my life yet, for you to be able to make me happy. The idea of you is enough most days. Besides, it'll give me time to review my answers to Aron's questions for date nights.
I read somewhere - it is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment, you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over. You should know, a lot of things scare me. Failure, loss, helplessness. But not this. Never this. I'll live out the rest of my life seeking that fraction of a moment, if that's what it takes, to get to you.